Stage two "new painting"

     This is my second night session painting, and I have to say I am loving every moment of it. It seems silly to value something so insignificant as the subtle yet semi-rough feeling of brush on canvas, the organic mush (similar to mud) of full bodied paint, or the slick viscous inky flow when it is mixed to extend its coverage. In many ways it is incredibly fulfilling, and reassuring that I haven't forgotten my processes. One thing I can compare this reacquainted familiarity to is that of a retired athlete coming back to the game after years away from the sport. 

     My body, like that of the athlete's has a muscle memory of techniques that never really quite left. Now I am not saying I am a veteran painter, but I do have my mannerisms. The intentional holding of multiple brushes in between the fingers of my right hand switching to my left to paint wet on wet paint blending colors, and utilizing varied sizes for areas of detail or quick application of color in large areas. Sometimes I have so many brushes going with varied hues, tones, tints ect... that I even resort to holding one or two under my tongue.

     This evening I decided to challenge myself to begin under-painting the figure and take a break from the "safe" areas of the piece (mainly the building, asphalt, and sidewalk detailing). What an exercise in letting go of control. In many ways I felt like I was fighting myself. That inner voice of fear, and failure that intimidates me into not even trying, kept creeping up in an attempt to convince me that I would ruin the painting by making a mess of the person. "Your too messy for something as delicate as a human figure, stick to landscapes..." Anyway I prevailed and I could not feel anymore accomplished.

     On this second stage painting the details, no matter how painstaking and tough, ended up being the most entertaining part. I especially love the detail of the pooled blood, shadows, and the compound fracture. Later on in stage 3 or 4 I will return, and clean up, as well as add more refined highlights, and gradations as needed.

     Lastly I believe there is the matter of a title. Listening to my iPod music in my earmuff headphones I am able to really cancel out any noise from the outside world. This not only allows me to focus better on my task, but also allow me to hear the lyrics to songs better. I by chance came across the following song on shuffle: "on our way down" - Stabbing Westward - Darkest Days. This song reminds me vividly of the subject matter of the dream and the meaning behind the catharsis of my falling to the ground. I am super excited that it fits my art show theme better now as well.

Lyrics bellow
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/stabbingwestward/onyourwaydown.html

New painting in progress

     I am picking up an old idea that I had for a painting. A long time ago when my life was tumultuous and nothing seemed certain, I used to have vivid dreams of things happening day to day that bothered me. This painting came out of a dream where I was falling from a tall building. This particular dream was of the variety where it was so vivid that I had to wake to realize it wasn't real. In these dreams I could feel myself being pushed off the edge of an enormous skyscraper by force, and I remember not waking even after hitting the ground. The last sensations in the dream were of myself pointing up at my assailant, and life fading. 

     Initially I would be seeing this from an out of body perspective. Then the dream would shift to where The viewpoint was looking through my own eyes as my vision was blurring, ears were ringing, the taste of blood in my mouth, and the cold wet feel of it on the ground beneath me spread slowly. After this slow darkening. I would wake up in a jolt where my body would jerk up from the bed some. Please don't think me crazy as these dreams were many years ago. Looking back I think that the dream was a symbol of my bad self triumphing over the person inside who desired to have a stable normal life. Maybe I was the one pushing myself off of the building. 

     I know that a year or so after being plagued by bad dreams and the chaos in my life I decided I needed to be baptized and saved. Maybe when I was young I did not fully understand what it was to give up the old and be born again. I am by no means close to perfect, but I have gotten to a place where I know I am forgiven and that I am loved by God who sent his son to die for me and other sinners like me. Sorry for the rambling and ranting. I was writing this blog entry as I would a journal entry with the filter off.

Irish farm pasture watercolor

     Here is my attempt at a smaller format painting it's essentially a 5X7" on watercolor painting. I have sketched in the farmhouse and the gates however due to transparency of the watercolor I think I am going to go over with gauche or an acrylic wash color thinned down. I will also add some trees, scrubs, and some livestock as well.

Idea for an art show

     I have had this idea for a long time now to in the future host an art how at a gallery or an event space that would let me hang paintings and have an installation. My desire would be to have it benefit charities for mental health, mentoring, grief ect. I would like to call the show hope and dispair. I have a very vivid vision of the layout of the floor space, the paintings I would include, the music, ambience even the refreshments. 

     I would like to raffle or auction a piece to raise even more money beyond the ticket price to attend and food costs. The bellow images are some rough sketches for paintings that will see fruition. Before commenting please view with an open mind and realize I am ok and of sound mind and that art is personal but also meant to be shared. I liken it to a confession and a healing that is communicated in a universal language transcending barriers of culture and written words. Also mind that I have counter pieces which will be posted soon that tackle the subject of hope and joy and feature images of my faith and love ect. 

     Lastly I am perfectly happy with my life and have a beautiful amazing wife and daughter that are my inspiration, my muses, and my encouragement to pursue using my talents in art not only for my own personal benefit, career, and enjoyment, but also for God and to connect with others who need to be inspired and loved.

Field sketching and painting at Lewis Ginter

     Today me, my wife our daughter Lily, her bother Jeremy, sister-in-law Lacey, their daughter Madeline, new baby Juliette, cousin DeeDee, and DeeDee's son Noah all took a morning trip to Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens. This is such a lovely place for people of all ages to enjoy. There are lovely sites to see at every turn, and the garden is carried though the seasons of the year making for new surprises with each visit. I brought my portable water colors (a set called the cottman serried by winsor newton) a water-brush and a pencil to take quick studies and field sketches of the various flora an scenery. 

     The orchid room at the green house proved an excellent place filled with vibrant hues of all variety and exotic plants in so many shapes, size an complexities. As I walked around sketching and blocking in colors from my pain pots on to the pages I felt a joy I haven't experience with my art in some great while. It was wonderful being able to not tie myself down or time myself when recording observations of the subject matters I saw. Jeremy took many complex and wonderful shots of the great varieties of flowers in that room as well as on the kids playing in the children's garden and playhouses. 

     Noah and Madeline loved playing with him making up games and little club meetings racing around the paths. Even though I was only there for a brief time before work it was well worth the trip, and I feel it gave me a pleasant focus for the day. I will be posting the progressions of my watercolor studies from scratch to finish ASAP. Stay tuned thanks!!!

Work in progress Japanese garden watercolor

     I got this image in my head and just started sketching out the rough with a watercolor pencil. I have been working on this painting locking in sections of color and shape little by little on my lunch breaks and fifteens at work. It feels so calming to paint and i really needed that release today. I have been feeling so much joy since my daughter was born but at the same time tons of anxiety over things I cannot immediately impact like my current state of employment and my personal goals. 

     I know this much I am a starving artist and not in the literal sense. I starve for creativity and the connection I feel with my self when I paint or draw. One day I will be able to let that passion out but at present these little paintings help me feel reassured not to let my dreams or creativity die

New paintings

     I recently took up watercolor painting again. I cannot believe how much I missed this paint medium as well as just winding down to paint in general. It is so therapeutic to hold a brush in my hand and be in a quiet peacefully solace. I love the way it allow me to remove stress and just breath. It has really brought me back to a passion for art and pulled me from the poison of being stuck on perfection. 

     I am painting with a pentel water brush and a cottman travel set of winsor newton field paints. I also have begun mixing in gauche and watercolor pencil. This freedom of field sketching and painting is amazing. I hope to soon practice some painting en plen air as the French say maybe at Lewis Ginter. Hope you like

Secret Santa Gift to my Cowoker Sherise - A painting of her and her beau as Owls

     I painted my coworker Sherise and her BF Alan as cartoon Olws for a secret santa christmas gift, and the painting was recieved with great thanks and surprise. Her favorite animals are owls and she has recently been redecorating with some owl paintings at home unbeknownst to me when I started painting the piece, so it really worked out great as a coincidence. 

      This project was so much fun as a break from the technical and less creative graphic design work that I have been working on lately. My favorite parts are the little worms, the moon, and the fact that the expressions of endearment came accross well on the Owl faces.