Stage two "new painting"

     This is my second night session painting, and I have to say I am loving every moment of it. It seems silly to value something so insignificant as the subtle yet semi-rough feeling of brush on canvas, the organic mush (similar to mud) of full bodied paint, or the slick viscous inky flow when it is mixed to extend its coverage. In many ways it is incredibly fulfilling, and reassuring that I haven't forgotten my processes. One thing I can compare this reacquainted familiarity to is that of a retired athlete coming back to the game after years away from the sport. 

     My body, like that of the athlete's has a muscle memory of techniques that never really quite left. Now I am not saying I am a veteran painter, but I do have my mannerisms. The intentional holding of multiple brushes in between the fingers of my right hand switching to my left to paint wet on wet paint blending colors, and utilizing varied sizes for areas of detail or quick application of color in large areas. Sometimes I have so many brushes going with varied hues, tones, tints ect... that I even resort to holding one or two under my tongue.

     This evening I decided to challenge myself to begin under-painting the figure and take a break from the "safe" areas of the piece (mainly the building, asphalt, and sidewalk detailing). What an exercise in letting go of control. In many ways I felt like I was fighting myself. That inner voice of fear, and failure that intimidates me into not even trying, kept creeping up in an attempt to convince me that I would ruin the painting by making a mess of the person. "Your too messy for something as delicate as a human figure, stick to landscapes..." Anyway I prevailed and I could not feel anymore accomplished.

     On this second stage painting the details, no matter how painstaking and tough, ended up being the most entertaining part. I especially love the detail of the pooled blood, shadows, and the compound fracture. Later on in stage 3 or 4 I will return, and clean up, as well as add more refined highlights, and gradations as needed.

     Lastly I believe there is the matter of a title. Listening to my iPod music in my earmuff headphones I am able to really cancel out any noise from the outside world. This not only allows me to focus better on my task, but also allow me to hear the lyrics to songs better. I by chance came across the following song on shuffle: "on our way down" - Stabbing Westward - Darkest Days. This song reminds me vividly of the subject matter of the dream and the meaning behind the catharsis of my falling to the ground. I am super excited that it fits my art show theme better now as well.

Lyrics bellow
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/stabbingwestward/onyourwaydown.html